“Are you going to try for the girl?” As a mom of 3 boys, I get asked that ALL. THE. TIME.   And then people go on to try and convince me as to why I should have a girl as if I purposefully chose to only have boys.  What they don’t know is that it actually stings a little because I wanted a little girl so badly!

When I was about 17 years old, I had a dream that I was taking my kids to a sports practice. 3 boys. One looked about the age of 5 or 6, the second about 4, and the last was a baby in an infant carrier. I saw them very clearly. And ever since that night, I knew in my heart that I was going to have 3 boys.

A few years later, I met my favorite person and we got married at the incredibly young age of 20 (me) and 23 (him). A year and a half after we got married, I found out I was pregnant and we were so incredibly excited! Unfortunately, I lost that baby at about 9 weeks. I felt an aching in my heart that I had never felt before and I had many nights where I would wake up in the middle of the night crying. But my husband and I got through it and on our 2 year anniversary, we found out we were pregnant again.

At that point, I was afraid to let myself get excited because of the possibility of losing this baby too. I kept it between us until I was 12 weeks and luckily that pregnancy resulted in my oldest beautiful baby boy! Remember my dream? I felt since the beginning that it was a boy. When the ultrasound confirmed it, I was over the moon.

Skip to just past his first birthday when we got pregnant with my second. Once again, I KNEW he was a boy before the ultrasound. He is such a sweet boy and we were a happy family of 4 for four years (like what I did there?). I always felt like I was supposed to have 3 children, but I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to have another. I had c sections so I REALLY didn’t want to have another. The recovery is hard! We put off having another baby and decided that maybe we were done.

I was about to start the Master Fine Arts program when I found out that I was pregnant again. At this point, my boys are 6 and 4, putting them at the ages they were in my dream. So even though it felt a little bit like bad timing, it also felt like it was the right timing.

This time, I knew it was a boy again, but I really hoped this baby would be a girl especially because this was going to be our last. I would think that maybe my dream was just a dream and it meant nothing specific. I grew up with 3 brothers and I always wanted a sister. I would think to myself, “well, I didn’t have sisters, but maybe I will have a daughter.”

To be completely and utterly honest, I was disappointed when the ultrasound confirmed another boy. And I cried. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I did. I cried, not because I was having a boy, but because I wasn’t having a girl (if that makes any sense). I obviously loved the baby boy growing in my belly, but I was so incredibly sad that I wasn’t going to have a girl. And I let myself feel sad for a bit (while I talked to my baby boy about how much a loved him), but then snapped out of it and celebrated the fact that I was going to have another baby!

After I found out about my 3rd boy, I felt grateful to God for he truly knows what I need and when I need it. I truly believe that he gave me that dream all those years ago as a sort of personal revelation to prepare me for the fact that I had 3 precious boys waiting for me as their mother.  It gives me confirmation that He knows me and is thinking of me. Me. Specifically.

Once my youngest was born and I held that beautiful brand new baby in my arms, my life felt complete. I felt at peace. I knew this is how God intended and I couldn’t be more proud to have 3 boys to raise. I pray that I can be the mother they need to transform them into great men who will respect their wives, love God, and work hard.

So when people ask me if I’m trying for the girl, I would like to tell them this whole story, but instead smile politely and say, “No. I’m happy with my 3 boys.”